MS-Paint messages
Tuesday December 19, 2006 at 1:53 amSometimes my girlfriend writes me little… well, basically love messages in MS Paint. Below are a few examples…
My own personal blog
Tuesday December 12, 2006 at 12:39 amHalf an hour I installed a personal blog. It’s like orangeacid.net - it has a vague and undefined purpose, and by its very definition will be created, redesigned before the end of its natural lifespan, rebuilt from scratch every 6 months, and will in be generally even more incomplete than this site you are on now.
This blog is a little different, though - it’s mine.
Future prospects
Thursday November 23, 2006 at 12:04 amIt has come to a stage in my life where I am compelled to look at my future and where my life is heading.
The most pressing issue is what to pursue for future education. I can either achieve 5 A*-B grades and return to landau to study ICT, Mathematics and English Language and Literature at A2 (full A-level) and Business at AS (half A-level); go to Derby College (Joseph Wright + Mackworth) to study the same A2 subjects + Photography AS; or take a completely different route.
Subject wise it is a no-brainer - I have a passion for photography and my business teacher is unbelievably unstimulating and inexperienced, and sod’s law suggests that I will have her again if I return for A-Level. However, Landau’s average pass-rate for A-Levels is something like 95%, around 20% higher than Derby College if my sources are correct.
Then there is the desicion of what to do post-college. Further education (uni), gap year, employment? I want to go to university, but don’t know if I can justify the cost and if a degree would be relevant to any career path I might take.
The Giraffe Analogy
Wednesday November 22, 2006 at 1:20 amEvery once in a while I get really down about relationships, sparked by nothing in particular - perhaps a relic of a past relationship with an untactful and indelicate bitch. Whilst these days these moods only last for a couple of hours (opposed to the couple of days that used to linger for less than a year ago), they are still very annoying and a pain to get out of.
The problem is the ‘downer’ effect, or ‘all that goes up must eventually come down’. After a high point in a relationship, when things return to normal I feel as if the relationship has taken a turn for the worst and fall over myself trying to ‘rectify’ things. Of course, nothing has really gone wrong at all, and I am consciously aware that I must avoid being overly clingy or sounding pathetic.
I attempted to explain this over the phone to my girlfriend earlier whilst trying to avoid sounding too brash. The conversation went something like this:
“No, it’s not you… it’s just… like… well, imagine a line graph…”
“A line of giraffes?”
“No, a line… oh, OK then, a line of giraffes. In this herd of giraffes I’ve acquired, there are normal giraffes that are naturally tall; small giraffes that are still quite big; and tall giraffes that are really, really tall. I’ve got them all standing in a line and you can see how their height changes. The small giraffes represent silly arguments and misunderstandings, and the normal giraffes show what we are normally like. The tall giraffes represent really high points.”
“Would this be easier to explain as a line graph?”
“No, let me finish. Just imagine you can’t see any giraffes further than the one you’re already looking at. Imagine for a while you see nothing but really tall giraffes, and they’re all big and impressive. Now imagine that you suddenly get a normal sized giraffe. It’s a giraffe, so it’s still absolutely huge, but it doesn’t seem quite as impressive as the giraffes you’ve already seen so in your mind it’s a bit of a letdown. Do you get me?”
“Yeah, sort of, but it doesn’t make that much sense - I mean, if I had a herd of giraffes I wouldn’t care what size they were because they’re still giraffes and cool and amazing and I’d be so happy and excited to have the herd of giraffes that even the small ones would impress me.”
I honestly can’t remember the last time I smiled as much as when I heard that.
Henceforth, the process of attacks of illogical paranoia being warded off by a witty girlfriend shall be known as ‘The Giraffe Effect’.
Cleaning out my inbox: Humerous Complaints
Sunday November 19, 2006 at 11:35 pmI have a Hotmail (now Windows Live Mail) account for a little over half a decade, and have amassed nearly 700 emails - this is coming from someone whose digital assets are usually impeccably organized.
Whilst searching for a satirical forward, I discovered an email listing alleged extracts from genuine letters of complaint to UK county councils during the year of 2002.
Pointing the finger
Wednesday November 15, 2006 at 1:05 amAs I was walking home earlier this evening, two cars collided almost head on about 20 meters in front of me.
From the angle of the cars, it appeared that an elderly lady had tried to pull out of her drive without taking the time to check for incoming vehicles. Another car had collided with it, taking out the right side of the bonnet and also dealing some impressive damage to the woman’s car.
Before I had managed to get close enough to see what was really going on, another elderly, though impressively energetic woman had emerged from a nearby house and was threatening the male driver through the window. A huge scene was made as the woman loudly commanded the man to stay in his car, stay right there, not to dare get out, not to move, and what was probably translatable as a threat of violence should the man refuse to turn off his engine. Before long, the street was alive with activity - perhaps half due to the commotion caused by Mackworth’s new self-appointed absolutist.
I later learned that the male driver had apparently tried to ‘make a break for it’, and this woman was trying to keep him in his car in case he was uninsured and trying to avoid a fine, or perhaps even acquittal for dangerous driving. Equally, as far as I saw, he could have being trying to escape a potential explosion hazard.
